So, it's been a while.
One of the reasons I stopped writing journals because, more and more, I realized that no one really cared. I mean, how much could someone care about a random dude who writes journals about procrastinating? As I say this, I know that there are people here who were incredibly nice to me, and it meant a lot to me. You may have actually read and taken interest in what was happening in my life, and I don't mean to deny that. But, of course, there's a lot of truth to that sentiment. Internet friends are a strange thing. It's hard to always feel some relationship to people who you never meet, whose daily activities are in no way connected to your own. And nobody forces you to interact with them (because they can't, and because it would be kind of weird). So this disconnect is reinforced. Now I realize that I don't care if no one actually cares. That disconnect was useful. It allowed me to practice expressing myself in a way that other people could understand, without feeling the need to censor myself, because I don't have any real-life connection to you guys. I suppose there were lots of reasons that I stopped writing here. I also began to have a real life, real responsibilities, and real relationships that made virtual ones less meaningful. Yet, I've suddenly had the urge to share these real things here, in this journal. And though you might be interested in them, I'm not really writing them for you (whoever you are). This is for my own personal benefit. But I certainly won't complain if you care. |
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