.Musically Inclined.
Copying and pasting from a different journal of mine... why 'm posting it here... 've no idea but just thought I would.

Alright so... it's 6:44 am and I don't really know where 'm going to go with this post, though it's important to me and probably will be to the person it's directed to, once she's read it(though I plan to tell her when we speak next so by the time she's read this she should already know... and if she reads this first... well that's just cheating! =P). I should be working on my school assignment... actually what I should be doing is catching a nap since 've been awake since 4 pm yesterday afternoon, but meh, gotta give and take sometime. If I ramble, forgive me, though I may do it dozens of times.

Anyway, to the subject at hand. 'm not going to go into back story and such, as it would be nothing but filler and time wasting, though would probably give me time to better formulate what I want to say.. but 'll try to keep away from the "origin story."

Just recently I heard from a friend 'd not heard from in months, and not actually talked to in years, I think the last time we talked non-text based was on my 22nd birthday, she called for like 20 minutes, and we talked on the phone for a solid two hours, catching up on what's been going on and revisiting old times of when we were more than friends. 'll leave her nameless, as to keep some form of embarrassment away from her, and won't go into any detail at all about what she told me, but the understatement would be that's she's been through a lot. She doesn't know it, but she actually made me pretty emotional when we talked, because I couldn't believe that things like that could happen to her. But again, not going into it, 'll move along.

Now, 've always been musically inclined, not to say I can play any form of an instrument with any amount of skill(as was proved when on a ride home with a friend he let me pluck at his guitar... and about all I could do was a preschool level of a sucky version of the 60s Batman theme), but I can be described as someone who keeps music close to them, using it to inspire my art and fit who I am in various situations. For example, the two people who had my heart for any long amount of time, the woman I am talking about now being one, would find that the Savage Garden song "Truly Madly Deeply" could best describe what I would do for them, and what I felt for them. In my down days, and unfortunately my most recent days, "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace and "In the End" by Linkin Park(cliche as it is) described me best.

Then, last night at work while I was driving around a song that I love and have heard hundreds of times hit probably the truest chord with me, and I never thought music could be this.... real.

"My Sacrifice" by Creed.

Yeah, yeah I know, like 95% of the Earth's population thinks Creed is the worst band ever and the other 5% of the world just hasn't heard of their music, but I like them. So why did this song touch me?

<i>
"Hello my friend we meet again
Its been a while where should we begin...feels like forever
Within my heart are memories of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me
I feel...Im careless...i believe
Above all the others well fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life can turn around....in an instant
It feels so good to reunite within yourself and within you mind
Lets find peace there"
</i>

And that's when it hit me. When I had heard her voice again for the first time in years, spoke to her about everything meaningful and meaningless that's happened in our lives since we last touched base, I realized that she had filled a hole in me that I wasn't even aware existed. Before talking to her, I was thinking of becoming something I wasn't, to spin the wheel and make a deal and didn't care what it did to me, as long as I found my happiness. For those of you readers who didn't quite catch the allusion, a few weeks prior to reconnecting with my friend, I told myself I didn't care if I <i>burned</i> just as long as I got what I wanted now.

So... after reconnecting with her and finding our close friendship intact, I feel like myself again, for the most part. There are still things missing, but not as many, and not so much of it. So, while this journal talks all about what she did for me, this entry is for her. With all the bad that's happened, no matter how well she's rolled with the punches, I thought she deserved to know that someone who keeps her close to his heart was helped and that she did a great thing, that she's a great person, and she may not have known it at the time.

To you, dear, I say my thanks, for being who you were, who you are, and who you'll become, and for being that person for me, but more importantly for yourself. I hope to hear from you soon(especially if you are reading this before calling me, cheater =P) and most definitely hope that another stretch of long amounts of time without hearing from one another doesn't lie in our future.

P.S.
I have been listening to music nearly non-stop since My Sacrifice played at 3:30 am, just as a tiny tribute to her.

.Musically Inclined.
Copying and pasting from a different journal of mine... why 'm posting it here... 've no idea but just thought I would.

Alright so... it's 6:44 am and I don't really know where 'm going to go with this post, though it's important to me and probably will be to the person it's directed to, once she's read it(though I plan to tell her when we speak next so by the time she's read this she should already know... and if she reads this first... well that's just cheating! =P). I should be working on my school assignment... actually what I should be doing is catching a nap since 've been awake since 4 pm yesterday afternoon, but meh, gotta give and take sometime. If I ramble, forgive me, though I may do it dozens of times.

Anyway, to the subject at hand. 'm not going to go into back story and such, as it would be nothing but filler and time wasting, though would probably give me time to better formulate what I want to say.. but 'll try to keep away from the "origin story."

Just recently I heard from a friend 'd not heard from in months, and not actually talked to in years, I think the last time we talked non-text based was on my 22nd birthday, she called for like 20 minutes, and we talked on the phone for a solid two hours, catching up on what's been going on and revisiting old times of when we were more than friends. 'll leave her nameless, as to keep some form of embarrassment away from her, and won't go into any detail at all about what she told me, but the understatement would be that's she's been through a lot. She doesn't know it, but she actually made me pretty emotional when we talked, because I couldn't believe that things like that could happen to her. But again, not going into it, 'll move along.

Now, 've always been musically inclined, not to say I can play any form of an instrument with any amount of skill(as was proved when on a ride home with a friend he let me pluck at his guitar... and about all I could do was a preschool level of a sucky version of the 60s Batman theme), but I can be described as someone who keeps music close to them, using it to inspire my art and fit who I am in various situations. For example, the two people who had my heart for any long amount of time, the woman I am talking about now being one, would find that the Savage Garden song "Truly Madly Deeply" could best describe what I would do for them, and what I felt for them. In my down days, and unfortunately my most recent days, "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace and "In the End" by Linkin Park(cliche as it is) described me best.

Then, last night at work while I was driving around a song that I love and have heard hundreds of times hit probably the truest chord with me, and I never thought music could be this.... real.

"My Sacrifice" by Creed.

Yeah, yeah I know, like 95% of the Earth's population thinks Creed is the worst band ever and the other 5% of the world just hasn't heard of their music, but I like them. So why did this song touch me?

<i>
"Hello my friend we meet again
Its been a while where should we begin...feels like forever
Within my heart are memories of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me
I feel...Im careless...i believe
Above all the others well fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life can turn around....in an instant
It feels so good to reunite within yourself and within you mind
Lets find peace there"
</i>

And that's when it hit me. When I had heard her voice again for the first time in years, spoke to her about everything meaningful and meaningless that's happened in our lives since we last touched base, I realized that she had filled a hole in me that I wasn't even aware existed. Before talking to her, I was thinking of becoming something I wasn't, to spin the wheel and make a deal and didn't care what it did to me, as long as I found my happiness. For those of you readers who didn't quite catch the allusion, a few weeks prior to reconnecting with my friend, I told myself I didn't care if I <i>burned</i> just as long as I got what I wanted now.

So... after reconnecting with her and finding our close friendship intact, I feel like myself again, for the most part. There are still things missing, but not as many, and not so much of it. So, while this journal talks all about what she did for me, this entry is for her. With all the bad that's happened, no matter how well she's rolled with the punches, I thought she deserved to know that someone who keeps her close to his heart was helped and that she did a great thing, that she's a great person, and she may not have known it at the time.

To you, dear, I say my thanks, for being who you were, who you are, and who you'll become, and for being that person for me, but more importantly for yourself. I hope to hear from you soon(especially if you are reading this before calling me, cheater =P) and most definitely hope that another stretch of long amounts of time without hearing from one another doesn't lie in our future.

P.S.
I have been listening to music nearly non-stop since My Sacrifice played at 3:30 am, just as a tiny tribute to her.