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Chuck Norris rules because (part 2):
* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.
* Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
* Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
* Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
* As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?â contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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