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| Signed up: |
7 years ago (10/04/04)
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Last signed in:
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11 months ago
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Total time online:
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13d 22h 33m
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27 year-old male from the corner of First and... First.
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Necessities...
Everything you (apparently) need to survive a zombie apocalypse (movie) and my best guess why:
1) Fingerless gloves: Fingerless gloves are an absolute must in the event of a zombie uprising due to the increased amount of gripping that must be done. Think about it... unless you're asleep you will be gripping A. the steering wheel of the vehicle you drive past/around/through the crowd of living dead B. any of the always-at-hand guns in your personal arsenal C. a sharp/blunt object to deliver fatal... uh... post-fatal? blows to the horde once you run out of ammunition for your personal arsenal.
2) A personal arsenal: Have you ever tried to fight off one hundred zombies with a single gun? Remember the scene in every zombie movie ever where a guy did? He kills 3-4 zombies before his clip runs out and he is quickly surrounded and torn apart by the remaining 96+. No, the only way to stay alive is to have enough guns at your disposal to run through full clips of ammo and instead of reloading simple toss the gun away and pull out a new one, preferably a differant type (a healthy combination of several styles of pistol, automatic weapons, and shotguns is recommended.)
3) A truckload of ammo at your disposal: Hey! You just said we threw ours guns away once they ran out of ammo! Yes, but guns are in short supply... after the firefight it will be necessary for you to go back and collect all the guns you've left trailed in your un-undead corpse wake, and utilize the time before the next onslaught to reload the fifteen or so clips you emptied, still nestled ever so conveniently inside the guns you've just retrieved.
4) An unnatural fighting proficiency/ability to defy the laws of physics: Being able to thrust your fist through deteriorating skulls like so many inch thick boards will come in quite handy, especially if you can follow it up with a Brazillian soccer style backward flip-kick that takes a zombie-head right off its zombie-shoulders.
5) Cadre of stereotypes to travel with: Surround yourself with ethnic charicitures and folks with glaring character flaws and your odds of survival rise ten fold. Noone with an inability to speak fluent english ever survives an army of the undead. Presumably the unrestful souls are unnerved by foreign gibberish and seek to quiet it in their unending quest for peace... and flesh. Also, that woman who cares so much for her dog that she chases after it as it runs into the crowd of zombies/hopeless romantic that refuses to stay with the group to search for their missing loved one/crazy pseudo-military gun nut who thinks he can take on the entire zombie horde with only the aide of his personal arsenal will provide a great distraction while you and the rest of the sane people still left alive make a getaway... probably in a bus/truck/van covered in armor/barbed wire/grafiti.
6) Bus/Truck/Van covered in armor/barbed wire/grafiti: You're going to have to make a run for it sometime, and unless you've got a tank handy, you're going to have to make due with whatever was abandoned in the parking lot of the mall/police station/hospital you've held up in. And now, if you're not one of the 50% of your remaining group that just died in the getaway, you'll probably live long enough to make to the next town over, where you'll undoubtedly meet up with another group or two of scrappy survivors like yourself, find a *really* safe place to hole up, and wait while the festering walking corpses close in again.
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| Awards | | | | The Goods | | | Name |
Michael (or Flash) | | Occupation |
down on his luckster | | Birthday |
December 8th, 1984 | | Gamertag |
| | FLASH'S... | | | Games |
| | TV Shows |
Arrested Developement Wonderfalls Firefly
Basically all the best shows that Fox cancelled. |
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