February 10th, 2012

So last week I ordered myself a communist shirt and I got it this Wednesday. I decided to wear it yesterday. My friends didn't care, they understood my beliefs and such. My parents however do not. So later on in the day, my mom looked at my shirt and asked what was on it. I told her what it mean't and she thought I was joking about being a red. I told her I wasn't and it's my personal belief. And for some reason she keeps thinking the Hammer and Sickle is a Swastika. Then my parents took away my laptop and we had a 30 minute talk. My parents have always told me that I should be myself. But when I be myself, I get in trouble. So they act like hypocrites.

So now they have to check where I've been browsing and check my social networking profiles. I had to remove my password off my laptop so they can basically monitor me. I told them multiple times that I was not like the Soviets. I do not believe in monitoring people, throwing them into gulags, censorship or Secret Police. I tried to explain that I believe in Democratic Communism and yet they still shut me out. I had to call my aunt and explained the situation. My aunt is really the one that understands what I believe and believes that no one should be judged for their beliefs. I honestly prefer her as my mother than my biological mother. I asked her if I can live with her if things go south because this feud might get violent. She said I always had a place on her household. This isn't the first time my parents had a talk like this. Last year we had to talk about school and them pushing me around about it. This is also not the first time I wanted to move out and live with my aunt. I honestly don't understand my parents. And now they want me to get rid of the shirt that I spent with my own money.

My aunt said she was going to talk to my mother about me. Me and my aunt are honestly more scared about my father since he served in the Air Force. And my father is patriotic as hell. To be fair my parents aren't strict as I think, but when they silence me for expressing my beliefs, that crosses the line. For the first time in years, I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen to me, but this maybe the last time I'll have a chance to post something. I hope my parents see what they did wrong and allow me to follow my philosophy.